Saturday, December 20, 2008

Improv

I had a sudden flash of stories to tell, but we'll get over it. Anyway, Andy and I had both done some drama early in our school life, but I think we got our abilities to improvise from Mom - who got her special powers from having to deal with large doses of us in the summer.

We would be sitting down for lunch, and I would typically do something mean or provoking to one or more siblings. Mom would tell me to stop, but it didn't always work with words alone. So she would use whatever was in her hand. I got whacked in the head and about everywhere else by a huge variety of things. The most memorable of which were wooden spoons and a full Kool-Aid jug. I remember being rather shocked when I saw Mom's frustrated face and a plastic jug full of summer refreshment speeding toward my melon. It didn't hurt at all, but the shock value stunned me briefly before I complained loudly.

Which reminds me of Mom's bad aim. When she tried using a belt to spank me, it would wrap around and hit my thigh, lower back, and it would get dangerously close to my crotchal region. So she wised up and got the infamous paddle. The paddle then hung where the hall emptied into the dining area to remind us of its authority. But I think I speak for us all when I say we would much rather take a paddle (or anything else) directly on the bum than risk the uncertainty of a belt hitting where it may.

Of course, for further spanking stories, we need to defer to Andy, as his backside was tanned like bearhide from the many whuppings he got. And that despite the fact that he could get out of spankings by looking at mom weirdly and making her laugh. That still irks me.

5 comments:

Chanda said...

Oh, that irks me too. He and Craig and Adam. You and I are just too passionate--and too concerned about the principle of the matter instead of our rear ends. I was once belted for eating the last piece of bread. And once I got extra beltings because I cried before it was my turn to be belted. And remember the summer mom was really into setting the timer and everything we didn't get picked up would equal one belting? And she was good to her word. My last belting was when I was 14. Everyone? Your last time?

Brian said...

I tend to think my last was later than that. Anyway, I certainly got a lot of beltings during the counting phase. Especially with the dishes.

Carrie said...

Ah, Brian you'd still get a lot of beltings if you had to do things according to time!!

Martin Andrews said...

Ya'll just jealous cuz I got out of things with deez good looks!

I think the last time mom spanked me was about 14. I remember her swinging the belt towards me and I caught it. I then told her that I would not be spanked any more. It worked.

The craziest place I ever had a welp was close to the back of my neck! Mom was aiming for my backside.

Tracethenfold said...

i never worried about beltings. 3 older brothers made me immune to such minnor pain. plus the parents never noticed when i had a pillow under my sweat pants i had convienently changed into. good times. muhahahah!!?