Once upon a time, there was a lawn mower that was put up against far more than it was designed for. We had the front 1/3 of our lawn divided up into about 4 areas and one more area in the back around the trees/vines in the back. This way, each Saturday, we would take a section and mow it.
That mower ran over everything imaginable. I personally mowed over grass taller than me, small trees and vines, cinderblocks, 2x4's, bricks, and giant fireant mounds. The ant mounds were particularly exciting as they would leave a cloud of grey dirt and red-brown ants floating in the air. It didn't matter how tough you thought you were, you shut the machine down and booked it.
Later, having worked in a store that sold the 2 highest ranked lawnmowers in the business (and we serviced them), I learned that the blade isn't designed to work forever. Turns out you should sharpen it at least once per year - even in Utah where you only use it 6 months of the year. I think that is part of why it worked so terribly. I don't know that we ever sharpened the blade, and the thing could not cut through anything.
I had a special relationship with the mower. Most of it stemmed from me hating mowing - and most of that came from a special condition to show up later. But beyond that, the mower only ever had problems for me. Out of gas? Guess who was up to mow next and had to ride a bike on a 6-mile round trip with a gas can tied to the front. Needing an oil change? Me. Air filter change? Me. Mom and Dad had no qualms making me work with the machine I clearly hated (and I swear it hated me even more back).
The real fun was after soccer games. I would be fine during the game, but upon sitting down for the ride home after all that standing, the hernia I had (that had gone undetected) all my life would start doing its hernial thing - namely, giving me that hernia feeling. It felt like the post-crotch-kick kidney pain mixed with post-bad-Mexican-food diarrheal bloating. I wanted to just be in the fetal position to mildly ease the pain.
Mom and Dad would have none of that. They were sure it was a ploy to get out of mowing. They wouldn't look me in the eye as they waved me out the door dismissing all my complaints. Remembering anatomy lessons in elementary school, I thought my appendix was on my right side, but the pain was focused on the left, but I would ask which side it was to be sure because I would feel like my appendix had ruptured. "Go out and mow. And no more excuses!" they would say.
It wasn't til on my mission that I was finally diagnosed with my hernia, and it turned out I had 2. But hernia or not, I hate that mower. (Fist shaking slowly)
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6 comments:
Ya know, even I have used that mower! Because my dad wouldn't let me mow, I always wanted to and the twins would LOVE to let me mow for them. Crazy boys.
I remember Brian--all of it.
I still think you were faking.
Man, I also hated mowing, but I think dad hated it the most, cause I never saw him do it in my life :P I'mgoing to have a forest in my front yard, full of pine trees, toxic pine trees that kill grass.
Timmy, I like where you are headed with that idea. I say do it no matter where you live. Even in Reno or something because it would be awesome and funny. Of course, in a place like that you could just have a rock lawn. I say do the pines anyway!!!
oh plaese you should've just forgot about it!! i've mowed the lawn after soccer games and i was in pain and almost limping!!i thought you were tougher than me!!! but i do feel pretty sorry for ya.
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